Why You Haven’t Advanced From “Just Friends” —For Men!

19 Feb

*This post comes from a request from a male follower. I hope it answers your question!*
Top 8 Reasons the Lady Still Considers You Just a Friend

1. She likes what you all are

Men, understand that we (women) are cautious creatures. We are constantly looking for a safe haven. She has not advanced you pass friend mode because it is safe. If you two are friends , she knows she cannot be disappointed if or when you find attraction in another woman. If you two are friends she can hide her disappointment when you break simple promises. If you two are friends, she will not have to wait on love or pursue loyalty. It’s just safer and she likes what you two are. Acknowledge her boundaries. Let her know you are not trying to break them. It sucks to say this but, your waiting can prove to be wasteful or worth it.

2. You never said it

I know, I know, why do you always have to SAY IT? Why do women always want you to SAY IT? Men, be aware that women can be literal laggers. Your roses on Friday, “Good morning Beautiful” text messages every morning and your ability to change your entire schedule just to make time for her miggggghhhht just be enough for you. To you , your efforts might be screaming, “I’m READDDY!”. I applaud your acts of affection men. I really do. I’m a firm believer in actions over adjectives. Don’t describe your love to me, show me. Yeah….cool. But you better believe that after your constant acts of sentiment, she will still be texting her bestie…”I don’t get it. He still hasn’t SAID it.” Although you may feel like you have already done enough, try speaking another language. Or hell, just speak period. TELL HER! Let her know in basic terms what she means to you and what you want from her.

3. She’s scared

It is okay. This is the most touchy one for me because in a situation like this, both parties have the potential to lose out on a good thing. This is the common case of new guy picks up the old man’s baggage. Sorry. I am apologizing for all women that are scorned and cannot seem to progress pass pain. The thing about this one is, If you understand her hurt and angst, you will be willing to wait. Time heals and if your time proves as powerful as your persistence, you will be rewarded. Many are not strong enough to wait out another man’s sentence.

4. Finances

We live in a society where women are classified gold diggers if they set any kind of financial prerequisites for their male pursuits. With the fear of being labeled a gold digger or shallow,women don’t know what to do. It becomes easier for her to leave you alone. To her it makes more sense for her to wait on your finances to become stable. She needs to know that your pockets are strong enough to carry yourself before she even dreams of your finances being strong enough for the two of you. Do not take it personal. Admire that you have your eyes on a woman with standards and dreams. Learn her financial motive and then let it motivate you. It could be that she is really trying to help you…become a better you.

6. She’s not the one

Often men read more into a woman’s hesitance than there is. If your will has finally abandoned you and your pride has surrendered, maybe…justtttt maybe she’s not the one. Unfortunately the whole, ”Bad guys are no good and good boys are no fun” thing is a more realistic tune than Mary J can ever pull off. Many men lose out to the bad guy only for the woman to return later. You may be putting in 90% and she may be putting in 10% . She enjoys your company, you’re attractive and might even be a good lay, but in the end she’s just not the one. DEAL.

7. You are just a friend

Plain, simple. You’re still on the friends list because (DEEEEEP, long, dramatic sigh) YOU’RE just a friend. I honestly have no other way of putting it. You are just a friend. She may not see you as more than that. She may NEVER see you as more than that. Do not push what does not want to budge. You may end up losing someone that was meant to be…just a friend.

8. Your act doesn’t fit with her play

You say you are ready but your actions speak differently. FACT: There is not a woman that has a male friend that she has not CONSIDERED at least once. Even when you’re just a friend a woman is sizing you up…yes, probably in that way as well. But a woman will always view a male in her circle as a “potential” even if the possibility of a connection is as low as .000089% .You may be on the friend’s list because she has already mapped out what her ideal guy is and you don’t fit the part. You two are so close that while she knows all of your strengths, she may also know your weaknesses as well. She may have witnessed you play the player role to often. She might be tired of the weak, punk part. Whatever it is, you just did not get the part. Again, deal. Keep her as a friend and keep the train chugging!

Follow me on IG @thegreycrayon blog’s IG: @pecansandgrapevines

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