Before She Leaves…….

30 Jan

The only reason your lady has not left you is she doesn’t want to. BLAM! I said it. Many will believe the contrary. The fact is, unless there are physical threats, monetary promises or a business contract involved…the only reason your woman is still with you, is because she wants to be. There might only be a grain of love or will that exists but she is only there because she WANTS to be. But understand this one thing—When a woman finally leaves, her uprooting is rarely an instant reaction to your bull shet. 99.99999% of the time it’s premeditated, some may even say predestined. She’ll throw warning signs that might go unnoticed or pushed under the table. If it is in your interest to save the one you love, you may want to know the signs of her agony….BEFORE she leaves.

Before she leaves, her routine will have changed. Her cold morning Carmex or Chapstick is no longer a necessity for her. She will deal with the burning lips later if it means she’ll get more attention wearing her MAC lip gloss. She may have a negative view of men now because of all the lying and hurt she’s put up with from one man (YOU). Her old swag may have turned into a shy slump because she has forgotten her worth or simply believes it was diminished or damaged along with all the other pride and patience she put into making her love with you work. On the flip side, she may leave with a new found confidence. Her poise is now more punctual and persuading than you have ever seen…or failed to see.

Before she leaves, she will already be numb to your excuses. Your excuses have become her expectations. She will no longer be bothered when you tell her you forgot you made plans with the boys and you need to reschedule movie night. She will shrug it off when your phone rings at 3 a.m in the morning and you don’t answer. Although she’s expressed a million times how she dislikes your relationship with your “home girl”, you prolong an unnecessary friendship. She no longer cries with jealousy but laughs instead. Your excuses have become her entertainment.

Before she leaves, she’ll find wrong in EVERYTHING you do. Your morning breath that once reminded her of the love you made the night before, now disgusts her. Your late night showers use to turn her on but now annoy her ears and interrupt her sleep. Your shouting at the football game on television once made her smile because although you were loud, you were home. Now it is just a reminder that you are loud and you are home.

Before she leaves, she will have found someone new. Maybe not a physical person, maybe just a new person in herself. Your applause is no longer needed to let her know she’s funny. She won’t need your head nod as approval that her body is looking “right”. Your empty promises have proven worthless now because she now believes..she now KNOWS that one day she will once again be the happiest woman in the world and SOMEONE will love her the way you have neglected to.

Before she leaves, she will have ONE last cry. It will take all of her strength to hold herself together but she knows she needs to let the tears flow. They may not be tears of pain. She may be cruising down four blocks headed to Food Lion and blazing Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” and before she knows it, the tears start flowing. Not tears of sorrow but tears of happiness because she knows freedom is right around the corner. She will let the tears hit her lap as she hides them from your child sitting in the back seat. Her last cry may be a loud, agonizing one as she waits on your phone call at 4:38 in the morning. She sits up wondering if you have linked up with a new chick at the club. That jealous then turns into worry and prayers that you’ve made it somewhere safely. Her last cry may be an uplifting one accompanied by an epiphany. She’ll stand in front of the mirror pouring tears when she finally realizes that her goofiness, clumsiness, inablilty to focus on one topic at a time, ugly handwriting, big eyes, big lip, small boobs are capable of catching eyes other than yours.

Before she leaves, she will already have mapped out her next move. Or maybe she knows that the beauty of it all is not knowing her next move but knowing that she is capable of moving. She will speak about her future plans and you will notice that very few of them include you or “us”.

Before she leaves, she will have made a fool of herself ONE LAST TIME. She would have already asked you a million times to delete the frequent back and forth between you and your ex on your Twitter. She may have spent all week shopping for you on Valentine’s Day. She would have spent a great deal of her savings just to see you in a new pair of shoes, with new speakers for your car..a private dinner for two. She wasted money and love just to have her heart crushed when she sees that same ex has already beat her to the punch. She will finally stop listening to what you said were just “rumors” and start using her head instead of a misleading heart. She will get so angry one night that the verbals stop spewing and the fists start swinging. She will find herself with no more fight. She has made a fool of herself for the last time.

The most important thing before she leaves is this—
it is not too late. It is never too late to restore what once was. Though society wants to prove differently, listen to this. The ONLY weak man is the one that can not find enough courage or push to fight for the one thing that gives him strength. The only weak man is the one that won’t hold his woman through her tears or her struggle to get away. The weak man is the one that looks for comfort elsewhere and fails to realize that the answer…the anecdote sits in set of eyes he won’t take the time to read. It is never too late to save the one you love, as long as you save her…before she leaves.

Loveeeeee to hear some comments. PLEASE repost and share. I appreciate all criticism. Please send any private questions to my e-mail kaydeetheladee@gmail. Follow on Twitter/Instagram @TheGreyCrayon blog’s insta: pecansandgrapevines.


11 Responses to “Before She Leaves…….”

  1. Charmaine January 30, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    OMG so who has hidden cameras in my house again. Bravo bravo *wipes my tears &I answers work phone*. Girl I’m now going to the labtop because this will be printed and anonymously left on a certain mans car. Kendra honey um um ummmm your play on words & ability better yet blessing is unbelievable!

  2. fazeidan January 30, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    The best writers are those that are able to take an experience, reduce it to writing and still be able to manifest every single drop of human emotion onto that paper. Kendra, brilliant way of describing this plight of womanhood. Hopefully, some fella learned something today.

  3. Sherena January 30, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

    Once again, Kendra, you have managed to take words && give them life. This is so much more than a blog, this gives every woman…every woman that has spent those late nights watching her phone, every woman that has contemplated going through the phone sitting on the bedside stand, every woman that has ever sat at the kitchen table waiting on him to walk in…it gives us some perspective on that situation. To read your feelings, written by other hands, extracted straight from your heart that’s overwhelming …&&to be able to give that to your readers, is not only talent but its a rare blessing. I anticipate your posts because I know you’ll never let me down.

  4. Kebra Solidknock Wright January 30, 2013 at 3:00 pm #

    This is amazing, its true and i feel like every woman at some point or another can relate to this, your writing is impeccable!!! This is only my second one reading but i can’t wait to go in and read the rest! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!

  5. Donyai January 30, 2013 at 4:57 pm #

    God has bless you with a gift in creative writing and I thank you so much for giving us (ladies) all the words and understanding that we cannot express in the midst of our adversities. I absolutely love your blogs! Be bless and I pray that someday your blogs turn into pages of your first book!

  6. Rachel Riley January 30, 2013 at 6:14 pm #

    Wow! So true! Women want nothing more than for their relationship to work and they stay as long as their heart allows. But when enough is enough.. She maps out her next move still while waiting for you to “do better”. I know this because this was me a few years back.. Maybe me now..

  7. Nisha January 30, 2013 at 9:55 pm #

    *nods head* Thank U for nothing but pure AWESOMENESS!

  8. halfofwhatyousee January 30, 2013 at 9:58 pm #

    I tried to comment earlier, but it wouldn’t post, so here goes…

    Kendra, I feel like I was holding my breath the entire time I was reading, and didn’t exhale until the final line. Every woman understands the feelings of rejection and frustration that come from getting less than we deserve from someone we feel we give our all to. Thank you for putting this is such simple but poignant terms. Men often don’t “get” us, in all our emotional expression and sensitivity—but any man who can’t see the truth in this text is BLIND. Love!!!


  9. Joyce Johnson January 31, 2013 at 5:32 am #


  10. Kay February 1, 2013 at 9:31 pm #

    Amazing! I love it.

  11. Bree S. July 3, 2015 at 1:12 pm #

    This post is so true!! Oh how I wish my (now) ex boyfriend came across this post when we were together. We would probably still be together!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: