What About Yo’ Friends?? (Traits in Unhealthy Friendships)

3 Jan

Listen Long, Listen Wrong. ———Can your friend check you? We are all…we SHOULD all be at the point/age where bashing someone else, spreading gossip, ENTERTAINING gossip is old… Believe me when I say I’m no angel. Far from it. I’ve had my share of broken relationships. I remember being the middle man, the transporter of news, the last drop of fuel to many fires. It got old. People ask allll the time what happened to me. Karma. Simple. Plain. It wasn’t bad karma it was good karma. My life is pretty…great. Soooo why wouldn’t I want the same for others? If I’m in a conversation where the participants are bashing someone…I try and change the subject. Don’t believe that whole, “I’m innocent…I didn’t say anything.” Yeah, but take it from a veteran —The quiet person in the room is usually doing the most listening and has the most to say once they leave the room. Can your friend shut you up? Do they like the fact that you have a lot to say about others? Can they challenge your opinions? One of the best things that ever happened with my beffie and I is when we learned, “Just because you have a problem with someone doesn’t mean I have to.” I have about a 5 minute cap for Brittanie before I jump in and say, “But I don’t have a problem with her/him.” Her tolerance for me is even shorter. It’s relaxing. You never HAVE to listen. Can your friend stop you from making DUMB decisions or is your life their entertainment? Is your constant venting a reminder to them of how pleasant their life is? Think smart people. If they’re listening long…they’re listening wrong. Simple…plain.

Glory, GLORAYYY!! —–When it’s your time to shine, is it just YOUR time to shine? Does your friend live by the famous cliché “It ain’t no fun unless we’re all getting some!” ? Can your friend see your moment of glory as just your moment of triumph or do they take the time out to ask how they can get some of the pie? Do they say congratulations and mean it? Can they see your success as a success of theirs (they should)? When they say break a leg do they really,deep down mean break…a…leg? One thing I can pat myself on the back about is that my happiness for others stems from a genuine spot. If I say I love you, I’m happy for you or let me know what I can do to help you..I mean it. I rarely see the same ladies I rolled with in high school. But the love is still there. All on the road to success and I’m happy for them. I don’t want or need to see or listen to anyone else that doesn’t share the same support. Simple…plain.


“I got your back….waaaaaayyyyyy back”
—– Those friends…the friends that have your back at ALL the wrong moments or the ones that are just absent in your moment of despair. The ones that you wish would just stay in the background because their help on the forefront is causing you to lose a more important battle—a better YOU. Is your friend the one that has your back when you’re about to fight in the club (and make a fool of yourself)? Could your friend be the one helping you enhance that nasty text to your child’s father (the text that will eventually ruin the little bit of communication you NEED for your child’s happiness)? Ooooh how about that friend that retweets, likes or LOLs at your nasty statuses, your ranting on social networks your back and forth with ol’ girl? Is she always sitting passenger side while you, yes..make an ass of yourself. Yup. That friend. That one that has your back at ever damning moment but is absent when you want a partner to go to church with. That’s the same friend that’s M.I.A when you need that one “You can do it” when you say you’re ready to go back and continue your education. She’s probably the same friend that can only scowl when you tell her you’re going to make things work with your man. People, this is an easy one. Not everyone is good for you. Never break ties with someone you love. Never. Just learn to love from a distance. Simple…plain.

DRUMMING the drama——That friend whose drama has the potential to ruin your whole year. That friend. The one that calls you 29/7 for advice but really just needs to hear herself speak. The one that doesn’t see your missed calls but expects you to be lined up front and center when she needs you. Enough said already. Direct that friend to a church. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can save them. Don’t allow someone else’s drama, dirt, filth to seep into your life. Always keep a listening ear and open arms but never allow someone’s leaning to cause your downfall. Simple plain.

With all that said, you can’t hold high expectations if you haven’t yet evaluated yourself.
Remember—–
“A true friend stabs you in the front.”

As always, thanks for reading! COMMMMEEENNNNT, comment, comment and tell me traits you notice in your past or current friends. Please, be discreet….don’t be “that friend”. Love and back rubs!

Kendy!
Instagram/Twitter : @TheGreyCrayon

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3 Responses to “What About Yo’ Friends?? (Traits in Unhealthy Friendships)”

  1. TeeJae January 3, 2013 at 7:29 pm #

    Wow. This really make you re-evaluate who your friends are as well as who you are as a friend. Love it!

  2. Brittany P January 3, 2013 at 7:43 pm #

    Whoa there Kenny…. I was that ahem “friend” committing all sorts of evil but never there when people needed me the most. But through the years I have learned to transition from being the evil doer to the sort of peacemaker but then again I do have those moment when I relapse but anywho brave post! Hmmmp makes me think a bit.

  3. shaneka witherspoon January 3, 2013 at 8:18 pm #

    Amazing!!! I can relate all to well in every aspect. Great post, keep ’em coming!

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